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Give Yourself Some Grace And Release the “Perfection Expectation”

Updated: Aug 23, 2023

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We are not perfect. You are not perfect.

I think we can all safely admit that we know we are not perfect. We can’t do and be everything to everyone.

But didn’t your stomach sink a little bit when you read those two sentences? Because mine sure did writing them.

We can be so hard on ourselves sometimes. Even though we know we can’t be perfect, we struggle with that nasty “self-talk” that kicks us when we’re down.

“You could’ve done better.” “You didn’t do enough.” “Someone else could have done better.”

That voice in our head exposes the “perfection expectation.” How much we so deeply want to be perfect, even though it’s impossible. The expectation lies hidden and quiet until we mess up or experience overwhelm. Then “fix it” quickly spirals into “perfect it.”

It’s exhausting living life listening to a harsh inner self-critic. Some believe trying harder is the only way to be worthwhile. But trying harder only gets us so far. We know because, at some point, we’ve all tried harder.

The truth is trying to be perfect robs us of joy and peace.

So what is the alternative?

Grace and self-compassion.

Picture Jesus reaching to you and holding your face in His hands and saying, “Give yourself some grace. I died on the cross for what you’re carrying too. Just breathe and hand it over to Me. No mistake or shortcoming will ever keep me from loving and accepting you as you are.”

The Only Perfect One doesn’t expect you to be. Jesus declares us worthy of love as we are.

In Him we find total acceptance, approval, favor, provision, protection, and love.

Isn’t that reassuring?

Jesus didn’t die on the cross for us to live perpetually trying to make ourselves good enough.

Jesus calls us to grow and change to be more like Him because He loves us, not so He’s able to love us.

You cannot be more or less loved by God than you are right now.

We can choose to release grinding away with self-effort and lean into His SUSTAINING grace to make necessary changes to live out of our divine purpose. He equips us with ALL we need to experience abundant life ‘on earth as it is in heaven.’ His ways are so much better than our own.

Embrace the grace of Jesus on this messy journey of being the beautiful human you are.

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.” -2 Corinthians 4:7-10

If you are ready to grow in your abundant mindset and learn how you can give yourself more grace, schedule a free call HERE to see if 1:1 coaching is the right answer for you.

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Dr. Richelle Hoekstra-Anderson is an Abundant Life and Business Coach. Her coaching utilizes a variety of tools to help you gain clarity on how you are designed for significance. When you come to understand and appreciate your unique design, you create the mindset to help you meet current challenges and live an abundant life. Ultimately, you gain new insight and learn the skills needed to create a confident life of peace, balance, and joy.

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