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I Thought My Good Actions Would Make God Love Me

Updated: Aug 23, 2023

women helping elderly women with finances

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I complicate things or make them harder than they need to be, including my life with God. I hold high expectations of how I “should” be walking out my faith.

I should get up really early every morning and have an hour long quiet time with God.

I should volunteer every single week at church.

I should talk about Jesus with every single person I interact with during my day.

All actions that I feel like I need to be doing in order to live out my faith.

It reminds me of how, as a young student, I always wanted to “please” my teachers.

I believed my performance was what made me acceptable or lovable. And I transferred that belief to my walk with God. If I acted “right”, I would be loved and accepted. If I did all the right things, I would be worthy.

Stop “Shoulding” All Over Yourself

If you’re like me, you tend to “should” on yourself a lot. More than is ever helpful.

We get wrapped up in high expectations for our walk with God. But God didn’t set those impossibly high expectations. We did.

The idea that we have to do a list of things to be loved and accepted by God is a lie.

Our worth and value are inherent to who we are, not what we do. We are loved because God made us and loves us. Nothing we ever do can change that.

While love can be conditional and based on actions in human relationships, it’s not so with God.

In John 3:16, it doesn’t say, “For God so loved the world WHEN they were perfect or didn’t screw up…”

No, it just says, “For God so loved the world THAT He gave…”

God’s gift of His only Son, Jesus, was motivated out of pure love. Not as a reward for our performance. Our performance on our own would get us nothing. That’s why we need grace!

The Truth About Why God Loves You

When I remember to focus on His gift of love for me, it puts my “efforts” into perspective.

Walking with God is not about checking off a never-ending “to do” list or meeting endless obligations to appease Him.

It’s a love relationship.

I wouldn’t find it enjoyable or desirable to have my husband or daughters feel obliged to get to know me or spend time with me. Who wants to feel like a chore or an obligation to anyone?

Love is most enjoyed when it’s freely given and received. That’s the relationship we are called to experience with God.

So how will you nurture your relationship with God today? How can you grow to love God even more?

Think of Him waiting on your living room sofa or at the back door wanting to take a walk and talk with you. He’s as close as your next breath.

Keep it simple and focused on how you would most want to connect with the love of your life.

In His eyes, you’re His. Always have been. Always will be. No matter what.

Are you longing for more of God's love and presence in your life?

That's why you feel as if something is missing or incomplete, right? You could have every other worldly "need" fulfilled but still be feeling this way. Because the thing you desire most is a deepening relationship with God.

Schedule a 15-minute chat to discover how I can help you discover and uncover the Abundant Purpose that God has called you to!

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Dr. Richelle Hoekstra-Anderson is an Abundant Life and Business Coach. Her coaching utilizes a variety of tools to help you gain clarity on how you are designed for significance. When you come to understand and appreciate your unique design, you create the mindset to help you meet current challenges and live an abundant life. Ultimately, you gain new insight and learn the skills needed to create a confident life of peace, balance, and joy.

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